I have been relatively quiet on the blogging front of late. I must admit that I have tried to write about some things, but inevitably I delete the piece due to it always appearing to be a "grumpy old man" whine about some mundane thing that you can hear any time on ABC local radio between 0830 and 1200 any weekday, usually about Telstra or the power bill or "P" plate drivers.
The reason I am appearing in print again is that I have been the subject of a whine lately and on reflection I can completely understand why.
In a time not far from now, in a quiet little hall in the country, people arrive under the stealth of night and slowly stream through the front door with heads hung low. They approach the chairs that are strategically placed in a circle and hesitantly sit whilst sideway glances take in the other like people in the circle. Someone called Dan, dressed in corduroy pants with a shirt buttoned to the top and an earnestly attempted goatee, stands and welcomes the group and calls for the first speaker for the night.........
.........My name is John and I have a Facebook problem. It has been six minutes since my last status update. I poked fifteen people last night and I am now friends with 579 people - my last friend acceptances were from people who are friends of a friend who also play Bejeweled and have good scores that I am trying to beat. I have sent cause requests to my entire friend list to support dogs with white ears that chew shoes and I am administrator for the group that thinks that different coloured shoelaces is cool. I have posted photos of my latest George Foreman Grill purchase, directly from my camera phone that is linked to my Facebook. I am a strong supporter of Facebook, we should not pay for it, and I am constantly telling my friends about not accepting a friend request from Stan as he is a hacker and virus. I have recently joined Twitter and have linked Twitter with Facebook so that all of my friends know when I am off to do a poo - I advise my movements through the Twitter, Facebook interface. I believe that it is important that any score over 25,000 in Bejeweled is advertised to all and sundry and my farm now has a commercial dairy and abattoir operating very well (thank you to all my friends that sent me electronic animals and food to help me develop my Farmtown). The best way for me to judge how people know me is to develop quiz's that allow my friends to answer questions about who I am - their percentage scores assist me to determine my friends knowledge of who I am (all of the answers to anything about me can be seen on my "info" page - from my favorite cereal to my sexual interests). I have a large collection of electronic drinks that were given to me as gifts for my birthday.
Whilst I am not as bad as the above, (I have people on my friend list who are!!!), I am somewhat addicted to this new craze that is Facebook. I feel compelled to update my status when I obtain great tickets to a concert or when I plan a fantastic dinner or when I set the BBQ on fire etc etc, you get the drift. I usually comment on my friends status with some smart comment and feel it is my duty to view the photos of my friends as well as post photos of my kids when it is some significant event (like holding a snowball). I also find myself thinking of someone from my past and looking them up on Facebook, my friends list is made up predominately of people I vaguely remember from high school and in some cases primary school. My main page (forgotten what the correct term is) is filled with crap that is posted from other people (the various descriptions in the "Facebook Anonymous" rant above, pretty much covers what I see on a daily basis). I have begun "hiding" certain people due to the crap they do on a daily basis and feel they must share with me.
So, it was when recently on a trip to Sydney enjoying some fantastic red wine with some relatives that I had not seen for many years that I was told I was teetering on the brink of "hide" oblivion. I never realised that the relatively small number of friends that appear on my Facebook page actually do not give a flying shit what i am doing or whether I have great seats to a good concert or if my kids are holding a snow ball or if Telstra are ripping me off or if....etc etc, again, you get the drift.
So, it is back to the blog for me. The next Facebook status you will see will be a link to this blog entry - thereafter, I will put the word Phobus in my status page whenever I write another piece so that if you wish to read this blog, then you can by your choice, otherwise you can choose not to see my ranting (as opposed to be being forced to see them on your "Wall" - that was the term I was looking for earlier).
Also, keep an eye out for a new group that one of my cousins is looking to start, the "Group for Facebook users against superfluous shit on their wall". I am sure it will be a hit.
